Three years ago today, I got the call from Lifeline that a 13 month old little boy needed a safe place for a little while. I said "yes" to that precious boy. I had no idea that day how one little boy would forever change my life.
Three years. 156 weeks. 1,095 days. Countless kisses. Countless struggles. Countless celebrations. Countless "I love you"s. Countless prayers. Countless failures. Countless successes. You really can't measure this LOVE - my love for this boy cannot be measured.
I have dreaded this post. I feel like I will disappoint many of you. I sometimes doubt myself. I wonder how it will affect my boy in the future. However, I know with 100% certainty that this decision is based on God's will and wrapped in His grace.
I will never be the boy's forever Mommy. I was never meant to be his forever Mommy.
There. I said it.
After much prayer, my sweet boy will be moving to a new foster home soon. The Lord has utterly amazed me in how He has cared for both me and my boy during this time of transition. I prayed fervently for a loving, fun, Christian foster home for him, and the Lord provided!! When I say "it's a miracle", believe me, I mean it. With Lifeline foster families being in transition to being licensed by DHR, the likelihood of him going to a Christian home with both a Mom and a Dad was very, very slim. BUT GOD.
Once I get married this Spring, my fiance and I have decided not to continue fostering. I know that I know that I know that the Lord called me to fostering, and that fostering was part of my purpose. I have had to grieve what often feels like "losing my purpose". But the Lord cemented in my spirit that fostering was my purpose for a season. He has yet another purpose for me, that He has been preparing me for all along. And honestly, I AM SUPER STOKED about what He has for me next!! Without kids, my fiance and I will be ready and able to go wherever He leads us in ministry. That is extremely exciting to me.
I know many of you will have questions. I welcome your questions. Feel free to send me a PM, and ask away. The boy and I covet your prayers during this transition and following this transition. Please pray for the boy, this precious couple who has said "yes" to him for the next season, his birth family, and for me and my fiance as we navigate life without him being a part of our everyday life.
"For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:19
I always think transitions are hard especially if you follow what God tells you and it doesn't make sense to change but as the verse says, God is always doing something new! He knew when Chris would come into your life and he knew this family would come for the boy. :) He had you both covered! Continuing to cover you all in prayer!
ReplyDeleteStephanie, don't worry about others opinions. I left vocational ministry and at times I feel like I have been purposeless since Phil's death. I'm working that out with God. Transitions are difficult - we base so much of our identity on our roles, our relationships, and our "calling". I have felt very much as if I am out in the wilderness but yet I am firmly convinced that God doesn't want me to go back into a ministry position in a church. In fact, I feel that door firmly shut for me. I have no idea why because I loved it. I felt useful and very much called to do what I was doing. And now I sit in a season of unknowing for lack of a better word. While I felt a bit "special" when I knew for certain what God was calling me to do, right now I just feel a bit lost. It's a hard place. Yet it is also a fertile place. God is teaching me new things and using me in new ways. I know he will do the same for you. We are happy for you at this new season in your life. Be blessed and filled with peace.
ReplyDeleteTransitions are hard. Prayers for you as you move ever forward. What a good foundation you have given him. Grace and Peace be with you and that sweet boy.
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